I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I am afraid I have some bad news for you. I've decided that we can no longer continue this relationship. I wish I could tell you that I have enjoyed our time together and that I'll miss you, but the truth is that you disgust me and if I NEVER see you again it will be too soon! If I'm being honest, I hope you catch an incurable disease that causes you die a prolonged, painful, lonely death. Now if I know you, I imagine you are going to try to contact me and tell me how "You'll change" and "we can even invite in another relationship." Don't bother. I've canceled my gmail, Twitter and Facebook accounts. I've changed my name and phone number. I've moved to an undisclosed location and I have an appointment scheduled with a plastic surgeon for Monday to surgically alter my appearance. And just in case, that knock on you door is a Constable who is there to serve you with permanent restraining order. No birthday cards, no Christmas cards. Good bye.
Spitefully Yours,
Bill (Or Roger. Or Calvin. Just not Scott.)
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